Mini Rant.

I'm back at school. While I'm not ready to cry immediately, I'm definitely not overjoyed to be back on campus. The room is more "mine" since I've moved my posters and pictures around, but I still want to be back home.

I've tried to keep the door open as long as my suitemates keep the noise down.

Oh great, now that I've started thinking about being fine, I'm starting to tear up. It's definitely not as bad as it was last week, but the feeling of being completely alone is still lurking in the background.

Part of me just wants to curl up in bed and wait out the week until Sunday. I'm going with the school to see Lion King at PPAC. I've seen Lion King on Broadway, but it's one of those shows that never gets old. Then, I want to curl up again until Friday when I'm planning on going home again.

Once again, just like last week, my run was one of the only bright points of the day. Classes weren't bad, but I was tired. My Cultural Anthropology class was boring - mostly introduction to the class still. The only class that was remotely interesting was my State and Local Government class since we are actually covering material. Orchestra will be fine since I then have to concentrate on the music.

I'm praying that classes are cancelled on Wednesday due to another snow storm. I can't go to my meeting tonight because of orchestra, but I do have a meeting on Tuesday night.

Now, I have index cards posted around the room with words like "SMILE" and "BREATHE" to give myself some good mojo. I'm going to be okay, it's just that I hate that part of me still feels this way, that the urge to cry is still there after everything. I think I am going to go see one of the counselors on campus anyway. It was different seeing my home counselor since I had been at home for a night and had been back to my comfort zone. Maybe having someone on campus that I can talk to as soon as I feel like this will be better. Though I have tried doing something that my home counselor suggested: bringing my comfort with me. I brought a favorite book to classes today to read in the hall, I made granola and M&Ms as a snack, and wore a comfortable sweater. Let's hope I can continue to do this and be able to keep myself in one piece and not break down again.